A Birthday, a Border, and a Boat Ride: Reflections from My Trip to San Diego

I planned to be away for my birthday this year. I’d been saving for the trip, knowing I wanted to celebrate somewhere warm, somewhere new—somewhere that felt like a real break from the everyday.

San Diego was my first time in California, and it didn’t disappoint. I zipped around the city in a tiny yellow GoCar, feeling part tourist, part cartoon character. I walked the border into Tijuana and tried not to overthink how surreal it felt to cross so freely when so many others can't. I saw lions lounging at the zoo, cheered at a Padres game, and watched the sun melt into the ocean on a sunset sail. And yes, I went whale watching for the second year in a row and—again—saw zero whales. (I’m starting to take it personally.)

But of course, the trip wasn’t really about the activities.

It was about choosing to pause. About intentionally stepping outside the rhythm of my normal life. After a long season of showing up for others—through my work, through life—I wanted to mark this birthday with rest, play, and a change of scenery. Not extravagance. Just joy that didn’t need to be earned.

The thing about birthdays is, they tend to stir things up. Even when you don’t expect them to. There’s this quiet pressure to take stock of your life. To be reflective, to be grateful, to feel something profound. And sometimes, that happens. But this year felt different. There wasn’t a big shift or revelation. Just moments of unexpected peace. Laughter that came easy. Meals I didn’t rush through. Long walks without a destination. Space to breathe.

And honestly, that kind of peace is profound.

It reminded me how often we delay joy until the calendar says we’ve “earned” it—after the launch, after the milestone, after we’ve been productive enough or healed enough. But joy doesn’t have to be a reward. It can be part of the process. It can be the thing that helps us heal.

So I’m taking that with me into this next year of life: more space. More softness. More tacos. More choosing joy not because I’ve earned it, but because I’m allowed to have it now.

If you’ve been feeling overdue for something—rest, adventure, laughter, lobster—I hope you’ll give yourself permission, too. You don’t have to wait for a birthday. You just have to decide you’re worth the gift.