When Father’s Day Hurts: Honoring the Complicated Feelings We Carry
Father’s Day can be beautiful. But for many, it’s anything but simple.
Maybe you lost your dad, and the ache of his absence feels sharper with every “Happy Father’s Day” post you scroll past.
Maybe your father wasn’t present—or wasn’t safe—and this day feels like a reminder of what you didn’t have.
Maybe you’re grieving a father figure who stepped in and showed you love, or maybe you’re navigating the heartbreak of being a father who’s estranged, grieving, or struggling.
However it shows up for you, complicated feelings on Father’s Day are valid—and I carry some of them too.
I’ll be honest—this one was hard to write. Not because I didn’t know what to say, but because so much of it hits home. My own relationship with Father’s Day is complicated, and my feelings about my dad are layered. Grief, longing, questions that don’t have answers—it all shows up for me too. So if this day feels heavy for you, please know you’re not alone in that.
This Day Can Stir Up a Lot
Holidays tied to family often bring up layered emotions. It’s not uncommon to feel:
Grief for someone you loved and lost
Longing for a relationship that never felt whole
Resentment for what you went through
Confusion about how to celebrate, or whether to at all
Guilt for not feeling what you’re “supposed to” feel
There’s no script that fits everyone. But there’s room for all of it—your sadness, your numbness, your anger, your gratitude, your memories, your silence.
You’re Allowed to Hold More Than One Truth
You can miss your dad and also be angry with him.
You can feel love for a father figure and still carry hurt.
You can be a father yourself and still wish your own dad had done things differently.
You can feel nothing at all—and that matters too.
The way you process this day doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. You don’t need to perform gratitude or pretend you’re okay if you’re not. You can set boundaries, log off social media, skip the celebration, or make space for your own rituals of healing.
Some Gentle Reminders
You’re not broken for feeling complicated things.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you spend this day.
You can still be a good parent, a whole person, and a loving human, even if your father wound never fully healed.
You get to honor your experience. You get to grieve what was, celebrate what is, and hold hope for what could still be.
This Father’s Day, if you’re hurting—you’re not alone. You’re seen. And your feelings are worth honoring.
