When Goal-Setting Starts Working Against You

Goals are supposed to help create clarity and momentum. But for many people, they quietly become a source of pressure. What begins as motivation can slowly turn into obligation. When capacity fluctuates, as it naturally does, rigid goals do not adjust. Instead, they sit there as a constant reminder of what has not been done. Over time, the nervous system begins to associate goals with stress rather than support, and avoidance becomes protective rather than problematic.

Traditional goal setting emphasizes consistency, accountability, and expecting yourself to do more than you can comfortably sustain. This approach works best when conditions are stable. When life is demanding or capacity is limited, it often increases pressure instead of supporting engagement. The issue is not goal setting itself. The issue is setting goals that ignore context, energy, and nervous system state.

When goals do not respond to real conditions, they unintentionally train disengagement rather than persistence. Many people interpret this disengagement as a personal failure and assume they lack discipline or commitment. In reality, their system may be responding appropriately to a mismatch between expectations and capacity.

Goals are meant to support change, not override limits. When they become a source of chronic pressure, they stop serving that purpose.

Session 3 of the Lunch and Learn series focuses on how to set goals that work with capacity instead of against it. We explore how to recognize when a goal is increasing pressure, how to adjust expectations without giving up, and how to stay engaged without forcing sustainability that is not there.

If this resonates, this is the focus of Session 3 in the Lunch and Learn series.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/why-you-know-what-to-do-and-still-dont-do-it-tickets-1980719043980